Temidayo Peter's Blogging and Ethics of Marriage/Courtship

Love : The first thing that should reflect is the agape love, I.e the love of God " Submitting yourselves to one another in the fear of God." (Eph. 5:21; Romans 12:9,10). Compatibility: One of the questions that do arise within the youth ministry is how compatible am I to her, or how compatible is she to me?. The issue of compatibility is measured across varying axis of life, e.g. Character/Attitude, Temperament, Background, Education, Finance, e.t.c. The intending partners must know that both parties must agree and be agreeable "Can two walk together, except they be agree?" (Amos 3:3), the issue of compatibility is a great factor to consider in your choice of life partner; even when you are convinced that God is leading you. And when you don't feel so compatible with the fellow you are sure God is leading you to, or leading to you, ensure you don't take a step further into such union until you have prayed through, and your doubts are cleared.  Let...

Marriage is a life covenant between a man and a woman, in which, if not properly guided from foundation, it could either make or Mar the destiny of the couple entering into the race, thereby making it an enduring, rather than an enjoyable one. Marriage is purposed by God to bring fulfillment for mankind on earth. Choice is a basic foundation of life; every marriage is first built on choice (Matt. 7:24-29). A good choice of marriage can only be found in the Lord, while a wrong choice is found within the worldly environment (I.e. choice by flesh and lustful desire).  Wrong choice in marriage is likely to be a sandy foundation; while the right choice is tantamount to building on a solid foundation. It is only a choice of marriage built on solid foundation that lasts long.  Intending couple needs to know that choice in marriage should not be made in a hurry, it should not be carried out for selfish or carnal reason. Each person needs to follow his/her heart (Gen 24:12-32)....

There are so many youths whose lives have been made miserable and bitter through broken relationships. In 2013, a Christian sister complained of how her fiance dumped her after years of courtship. During the courtship, they have done the introduction and preparation was on top gear for the wedding. The brother in question had started buying engagement items. Then, one day he told the sister that he was no longer interested because his elder sister would not like to have the fiancee as her sister in-law. The matter was taken to the pastor, but at the end, the relationship crashed. To add salt to the injury, the brother asked the sister to return everything he bought for her.  For peace to reign, the pastor of the sister told her to return what the brother had bought. Another sister cuts her relationship with her fiance after a long time of courtship, citing undesirable characters of the brother for the step she took.  These are two cases out of other numerous 'betray...

As soon as the courtship begins, both parties need to embark on sincere talk, Bible-study and prayer. So, when you meet together, as fiance and fiancee, your discussion should focus mainly on prayer, Bible study and talks that would strengthen the would be marriage. With this, you are laying a good foundation for your future home. The brother could prepare a brief bible study in advance while the sister could be asked to work on the prayer points. This prayer can cover areas such as the challenges ahead of you, the events in the family, Church and nation. Any problem facing each of the partners could be tackled in prayer this way. Courtship is a time of business, and when it is approached as such, Satan will not infiltrate the relationship. The beauty of courtship would be realized. If courtship is approached this way; following things can be achieved: Worthwhile Acquaintanceship : As the Church is in courtship with Jesus, we get acquainted with the master everyday. In your court...

Abortion of Dignity:  The dignity of the single lady is her virginity, same holds true for the man - bachelor. It is the dignity that qualified Mary and Joseph for the divine favour of bringing Jesus to the world. When you maintain your virginity, God will bestow special favour on you.  Abortion of clear Conscience :   Human conscience is the police of the mind, this police does not fear anybody; it can arrest at will. If you sell yourself before the wedding day, anytime the issue is mentioned, your conscience will not allow you to rest.  Abortion of Joy : There is unspeakable joy in purity. This cannot be purchased by money. But if you defile yourself, you will bring eternal regret to yourself, you will ruin your lifestyle. You will look back with regrets and bitterness; you will look back with regrets and bitterness; you will wish that you could rewind your life so as to make correction. But losing virginity is like a broken egg that cannot be gathered up and...

Age has something to do with marriage. Therefore, these are the qualities expected from each youth before stepping into marriage. In Galatians, chapter 5,verses 22 and 23: "But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy peace, patient, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control..." LOVE : Such youth must have love. He or she must be able to allow the Holy Spirit to the extent of forgiving everybody who offends him/her. He or she should not keep malice with anybody.  JOY : He or she must be capable to control his or her temper, always viewing things with simple heart, giving room to the Spirit.  PEACE : He or she must not feel proud but be at peace with others.  PATIENCE : He or she must allow the Spirit to guide him/her in making decision. He/she must be a goal getter but should not be stampede to get it at all cost. Walking in line with the divine agenda is the best, slow and steady wins the race. God has His divine program for each of us, wait p...

Moral purity is a matter of abstaining, I'm going to use Rebecca and Isaac from the Holy Bible as a case study. The very hour Rebecca knew Isaac to be her Fiance; she took veil and covered herself. This is a sign of moral uprightness and purity. Rebecca was an ideal Palestine girl who cherished purity. Her action clearly showed that she is from a godly home and adhered strictly to the teachings of her parents. Rebecca would not allow herself to be put in a family way outside marriage. She would not allow herself to be caught so cheaply. She covered herself.  These days we find it hard to see girls who are still virgins, they will be like "who virginity help", don't forget that the best gift a woman can think of giving to her husband, is her "virginity". Some girls lose it because of peanuts, some lose theirs because of a popular phone, and now that the latest one is out, I wonder what they will loose (maybe their kidney), vanity upon vanity. Some became...

What is Humility? Humility means "a state of being humble" Let me use Isaac and Rebecca (from the Bible) as a case study. The hour Rebecca looked up and saw Isaac, she came down from her camel. Rebecca could not afford to meet Isaac while on camel, to meet Issac while on camel would be a sign of pride and arrogance. During courtship, both parties are expected to come down from their camels. Each party has a camel! Your own camel could be beauty, handsomeness, degrees, wealth, fame, position and gifts. Whatever may be your camel, you have to come down. Humility will make both the courtship and marriage work. Pride is one of the caterpillars against courtship and marriage. You are admonished to learn from Rebecca though she had a camel, she alighted from the camel when she was about to meet Isaac. Therefore, courtship calls for display of humility from both sides. Spirit of tenderness is preferred for a stable courtship and marriage. Many courtship collapse because pride ...

Marriage is not for babes (when I say 'babes' I'm not talking about age, some are young and matured and some are old but not matured). Maturity in marriage is very essential, as man or woman you need to attain maturity before thinking of marriage, you need to be able to tolerate a woman as a man, because we all know that women are weaker vessels, and as a woman also you need to tolerate a man as well, in order for you to have a blissful marriage.  Like I said earlier, marriage is not for babes, it is not for those who cannot take godly decision without the inputs of their pastors or fellowship leaders on campuses! If you cannot meditate personally on the word of God, in prayer and in Christian literature, you are unripe to go into courtship with anybody. If you see yourself playing truancy in Church programmes, youth programmes or campus programmes, you are a babe spiritually and you will be strong enough to go into relationship. Courtship or marriage is not a gam...

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What is Courtship?  Courtship is a period during which a couple develop a romantic relationship before getting married.  The greatest disease on earth is "ignorance"! No doctor on earth can diagnose this disease, except the carrier. There is no pharmacologist on earth that can manufacture the drug that would treat this deadly disease.  However, there is a drug that can cure it. This drug is not prepared in any laboratory. This drug cannot be found on the shelf of any chemist. This drug does not have manufacture and expiry dates like common drugs.  The drug cannot be faked by any manufacturer. This drug has only one brand throughout the whole world. This drug can only be found in the Book of books - The Holy Bible . Jesus revealed the name of this drug to us. "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" - John 8:32. Truth is the effective drug that can treat the ignorance of men. Truth is the only liberator from the trap of ignorance. ...

WHAT IS MARRIAGE? Marriage is the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship (historically and in some jurisdiction, specifically a union between a man and a woman.  God established the family from the beginning of creation, a family is the smallest unit of the society. The family life begin with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Regrettably, man has introduced many ways to distort the family which God holds in high esteem, despite the fact that God designed the family for a purpose.  The problems plaguing the family started from the first family till date, if the foundation of the family is destroyed, there is no way the purpose which is meant for man's comfort can be realised. God doesn't want His people to be jettisoned. He, therefore, allowed a family set up where people will follow His commands. This is what is referred to as a Christian Home.  Christianity is a way of life and not a religion, there are many ...