Certain Things to watch for in the cause of choosing a life Partner

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  1. Love: The first thing that should reflect is the agape love, I.e the love of God "Submitting yourselves to one another in the fear of God." (Eph. 5:21; Romans 12:9,10).
  2. Compatibility: One of the questions that do arise within the youth ministry is how compatible am I to her, or how compatible is she to me?. The issue of compatibility is measured across varying axis of life, e.g. Character/Attitude, Temperament, Background, Education, Finance, e.t.c. The intending partners must know that both parties must agree and be agreeable "Can two walk together, except they be agree?" (Amos 3:3), the issue of compatibility is a great factor to consider in your choice of life partner; even when you are convinced that God is leading you. And when you don't feel so compatible with the fellow you are sure God is leading you to, or leading to you, ensure you don't take a step further into such union until you have prayed through, and your doubts are cleared. 
Let us consider some of the parameters for assuming compatibility in consideration of a life partner, for instance:
  • Blood Genotype: (AA, AS, or SS), please, note that where it is Gid, that leads and directs; and both partners are convinced, compatibility of blood genotype may have no effect. But the intending partner must convince the Church or the marriage committee through a letter of undertaking as to their decision. 
  • Level of Education: This factor or role does not determine God's choice of a life partner. So far it is God that leads and directs the parties. Albeit, nowadays is not a factor to be trivialized; though, being educated is never a guarantee for an enduring marriage, neither is lack of it the cause of the same. Only that it may help the couples to understand each other better, than where one is not educated. 
  • Money: Choice should not be based on money because any choice based on money could lead to disappointment. Money can fail, and things do change with time. It is baseless to anchor the foundation of one's marriage on money - A union built exclusively on money factor has no foundation at all. 
  • Beauty: Choice should not be based on beauty, because beauty is like a flower with seasons, it can fade in the process of time. It is possible for the partner to be beautiful or handsome and not God's choice. Choice of a life partner should not be measured by beauty (1 Sam 16:7, Prov. 31:30).
  • Family Background: It would be wrong to use family background of anybody as a yardstick for choosing a life partner. 
  • Ethnicity: Many may want to insist on marrying from their tribe, but this is not a closed issue, so far the partner is found in Jesus Christ, you are already same spiritual tribe in Christ Jesus. So ethnicity or tribal preference should not be used as a change less parameter in considering a life partner. 
  • Profession: This should not be your reference or pole that leads to your choice of partner. Remember that there are professionals that have a very miserable marriage; while non-professionals are the ones counselling them. Professionalism is not enough a ground on which marriage should be built. 
  • Age: Where it is God's choice, it is possible for the wife to be older than the husband, but I advice that the difference be minimal. If the age difference is minimal, it would help the couple to avoid needless stigmatization; and sincere submission on the part of the wife, who in this case is the oldest on the union, will not be difficult to do. 
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