Preparation Towards Engagement And Marriage

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Engagement is a day set aside for the payment of bride price by the husband to be, to his prospective in-law. It is often referred to as the traditional marriage. It usually takes place before the 'white garment marriage proper. It can come up a week, a day or some hours before the wedding. It is a day for the two families to meet formally and it is usually accompanied with ceremony, which for a child of God must be moderate and follow Biblical principles (Gen 24:42-65).
Preparation for Engagement and the eventual Marriage will be discussed under 3 sub-topics:

1. Physical/Emotional Preparation: Before engagement or marriage can take place, both the man and woman must be of marriageable age and must be matured, because marriage is not meant for kids. The man must have a stable source of income and must be able to take good care of a family. The woman must also be engaged in something worthwhile to lean on to support the husband, by the time they are married. The man must have a decent accommodation, for it is not an act of responsibility for a man to get married and live in his parents house (Gen 2:24). The woman too, must have some basic kitchen utensils to show that she is ready to start a home.

The man and woman must be emotionally stable, having had the premonition that marriage is not meant for babies, and that there will be challenges in the course of marital journey, which they must be ready to face head long through the help of the Holy Spirit. They must also agree on crucial issues that will be inevitable in their home (Finance, Number of Children etc.) - Amos 3:3.
2. Spiritual Preparation: In the Christian context, the man and woman coming into marriage marriage must be born again and be filled with the Holy Spirit. They must be versed in the word of God and must be given to prayer. They must have sought the face of God to confirm and establish that they are the will of God for each other. In the preparing for engagement and marriage, there are so many protocols laid down by the church to be followed: 
  • Marriage proposal form must have been collected, filled and returned to the Church. 
  • Necessary health test such as genotype, blood group and HIV status test must have been conducted and the result submitted. 
  • The intending couple will meet the marriage committee at stipulated times for counselling and prayers. 
  • A day before the marriage ceremony, the bride to be, is expected to go for pregnancy test in a hospital specified by the church. 
3. Financial Preparation: As it was mentioned earlier, the intending couple must be financially matured to take care of the marriage ceremony and to live comfortably thereafter. As a man, after you have gotten the would be in-laws' consent, they will want you to pay something. The Bible calls it "dowry". The custom of paying dowry is as old as the world. You must be prepared to pay the bride price or dowry. 
Sometimes, they may ask for money and at other times they may ask for other things which are not monetary. Bride price varies from culture to culture (Gen 29:18).
Necessary items needed for the ceremonies must be purchased and gotten ready. 
See a sample Analysis:
  • The engagement materials from the Groom's family, to be given to the Bride's family as demanded, which must include the Bible/and or wedding ring, depending on your choice. 
  • The engagement and marriage clothes and shoes, including the Bible. 
  • Foods and drinks for entertainment of guests at the engagement and wedding ceremony. 
  • Canopies and chairs/tables for the engagement ceremony 
  • The reception hall/field, depending on your capacity. 
  • Vehicles to convey the bride and the bridegroom 
  • Invitation cards 
  • Publication of the marriage in the Local Government Registry (at least 21days before marriage) 
  • Wedding programmes 
  • Engagement and wedding cake
  • Souvenir, if necessary 
ENGAGEMENT DAY
The engagement ceremony must commence on time and must not be allowed to drag for too long. Excesses must be minimized. The spokesperson must be a child of God, and must coordinate the programme in a way that will glorify God. 

WEDDING DAY
The couple must endeavour to get to the church on time, latest 10minutes before the start of wedding. They must be composed and face their day gloriously. The bridal train must not be outrageous, but everything must be done in modesty, to the glory of God. The reception too must not be too long to give ample time for people that want to travel back to their various destinations. Music provided must not be worldly. The couple should be allowed to retire to start their home in good time. So, the moderator must be time conscious. Caterers or servers must do their work meticulously so that the guests are well taken care of. 
On a final note, for these ceremonies to be successful and glorious, couple must be physical, emotionally, spiritually and financially matured and prepared. God bless you all! 

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