Wedding Rehearsal / Church Responsibility

"Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" - Heb 13:4.

"Nevertheless, the solid foundation of God stands, having this seal; The Lord knows who are His, and let everyone who names of Christ depart from iniquity" - 2Timothy 2:19

"Let all things be done decently and in order" - 1Corinthians 14:40

The concept of wedding rehearsal, up until now, is like a dice with many sides: being stale a topic of discussion in some Churches; just as fresh to some, while it is even completely strange to some others. It has been in operation in some setting, while some others are of the opinion that it is not necessary, needless or uncalled for. 

However, it has been so much neglected in some Churches nowadays, and the consequential result is confusion and commotion in the conduct of wedding, which now gives room to the antagonist of the Church to speak derogatorily about Church wedding; thereby rubbing blemish on the body of Christ. 

Wedding rehearsal is not a new concept, especially in the western world where it is done minimally as a social function and it includes a dinner; in which case families, friends and well-wishers are gathered. Attendees, at times including the wedding officiators may be present - it is in semblance more of what is contemporarily practiced as "bachelor's eve" today, to the exclusion of rehearsal of the wedding service. 

In line with Heb 13:4, Marriage is a sacred institution established by God; who is constant and never changing, despite the ever changing trend of our world, which boisterously does not treat the church as sacred. Thus, if the uniqueness of the marriage institution would be preserved, there is the need for sacrosanct reference or focal points, which we can resort to, giving focus, direction and standard. 

The need arises for heightened awareness and talks bothering on wedding rehearsals, having considered some anomalies or shortcomings exhibited by couple and the members of their trains during church wedding services. Such ranges from dressing or appearance to comportment, conduct and gestures, among others. As the saying goes, "don't blame them if you have not trained them"; this will serve as a position paper to create the needful education and awareness befitting the sacred event, as 'proper prior preparation prevents poor performance'. Also, ceremonies run smoothly when they have been rehearsed. 

Apart from the couple's factor, it is also necessary to prepare the officiating ministers ahead for the task of joining and smooth running of the programme on the wedding day. It had been noticed that some marriages were conducted with little or no preparation, as the officiating minister was handpicked among others without any prior notice, while some mishandling of joining processes at times were noticeable and pronounced. 

A. Wedding rehearsal in the context of this discussion will involve:

• The Church Pastor 
• The couple (The groom and the Bride) 
• The bridal train (most especially the best man and the best lady) 
• The representative of the church - at least two ministers who have been officiating during wedding services and are no doubt familiar with the proceedings. The Head usher or an experienced usher. 

B.  Rehearsal Venue: wedding rehearsal is best done at the venue of the wedding (the church or otherwise) and best on the night preceding the wedding I.e. the Friday prior to the Saturday of the wedding service. However, experience has shown that some couple to-be may not be able to honour such last minute programme due to the nature of their work or distance between the two, it is advisable that the pastor of the church should be considerate enough to arrange a suitable time for the church should be considerate enough to arrange a suitable time for the rehearsal, at the convenience of the celebrants. A better and more convenient time should be arranged when the engagement falls on the Friday preceding the wedding. 

C.  Time: The rehearsal time should last a minimum of one hour, for maximum concentration and effectiveness, since the rehearsal is just meant to train and educate the couple. The officials of the church must bear in mind that the couple to be may still have some things to put in place in preparation for the D-day. 

• 1st 15minutes - To gather and explain proceedings 
• Next 30 minutes - For the first run through 
• Last 10 minutes  - For the second run through and necessary corrections. 

D.  Proceedings: Couple to-be should be encouraged to hold the service as very sacred and as such transmit this firsthand to themselves and then to their people - family, friends and relatives alike - to hold the service in high esteem. They (couple) are to remain in the church auditorium for the whole period of the wedding - they have NO business outside. They should make sure that they get to the church at least 10minutes to the commencement of the wedding. 

The couple and their train may not have to come to the rehearsal with their clothing if it has been checked before by the marriage committee. However if it has not been checked and endorsed before the rehearsal day, they are to bring the dresses and have them checked to forestall embarrassment and indecent/unacceptable dressing on the wedding day. 

The wedding programme, as a necessity, must be available at the wedding rehearsal. It is advisable that the marriage programme should get to the pastor's desk a week before the wedding. 

E.  What are to be rehearsed? The "Cessions" - Processional and Recessional arrangements. The couple should prepare themselves for the processional. The groom, the best man and his train shall come on seat first while the bride couple wait to allow cameraman and photographers to cover both events. The groom and the best man shall sit together on the two chairs reserved for the couple. 

As soon as the groom's train is seated, the bridal train should follow immediately. The bride and the best lady shall sit at the two seats reserved for the best man and best lady. 

At the start of the processional 

• Positioning of the bride and the groom, including their train with their various responsibilities. Also to be considered is the sitting arrangements and movements during the service. 
• The "cessions": processional and recessional arrangements. 
• Reading of the vows: Concentration is needed to know where to get involved and respond as appropriate. 
• The marriage vow should be well revised to avoid mistake during the wedding. The couple to-be should be advised to read it in the language they are conversant with. The copies should be produced for them.
• Familiarization with the order of the programme and the venue of the wedding service. 

The marriage covenant seal should also be revised to avoid mistake during the wedding. The copies should be produced for them as well.